Great Sex Unzipped
So how’s your sex life? Six tips for having great sex
Great sex tip # 6: Schedule sex. Really.
What sounds rote and dreary can actually be dreamy, says Michael Castleman,
who recommends the strategy especially to couples in long-term relationships
who’ve passed the can’t-keep-their-hands-off-each-other phase.
“There’s this powerful mythology that says you should fall into each other’s
arms spontaneously, with string music playing and the sun setting in the west,
and if that doesn’t happen there’s something wrong with you,” Castleman says.
“Nonsense. Real life doesn’t work that way.”
Rather than heightening the pressure to perform (“It’s now, or never!”),
scheduling can actually make sex more relaxing. You can develop sensual
rituals, make romantic gestures in anticipation of your encounter. You can give
each other massages or take a shower together.
Castleman says that scheduling sex also eliminates conflict over desire
differences. “People say, ‘What if I’m not in the mood?’ Well, one of the
things about relationships is that you sometimes make compromises. But what
astonishes people once they start scheduling sex is that they can actually