Overcoming Ejaculation Problems
Too fast? Too slow? Treating Ejaculation Problems
You may also have a hand in your delayed ejaculation problem. By adopting a masturbation technique that involves intense pressure, friction and speed, some men train themselves to respond to a level of stimulation no partner could duplicate -- at least not without coaching, which the man usually is reluctant to provide.
Michael A. Perelman, PhD, a sex and marital therapist in New York City says he sometimes tries to get men with delayed orgasm to agree to a masturbation moratorium. This does more than stop the practices that may be contributing to the problem. It also allows a build-up of sexual desire, which provides "a mechanism for reducing the threshold of arousal necessary for orgasm," he says.
But while masturbation can cause delayed ejaculation, it can also aid in the cure. If a guy won't agree to keep his hands off, Perelman will urge him at least to alter his masturbation style -- to switch hands, for example -- in order to break old habits. The problem is that your tried-and-true, quick-and-dirty masturbation style is probably terrible practice for sex with another person.
So instead of just masturbating efficiently to achieve orgasm, Perelman encourages men to fantasize about a sexual experience with their partners while they masturbate. He tells them to try "to approximate, in terms of speed, pressure and technique, the stimulation he likely will experience through manual, oral, or vaginal stimulation with his partner." It might take a little longer, but it makes masturbation more of a "dress rehearsal" for sex. You can also talk to your partner about your fantasy afterwards, Perelman suggests.
Premature Ejaculation Cure: Self-Love
So what about the much more common problem of premature ejaculation? In this case, masturbation can be just the ticket. Having repeated orgasms will bring on delayed ejaculation in almost any guy. Some believe that the best premature ejaculation tip is to double the number of orgasms a man has per week. And if that doesn't work, to double it again.
There's some evidence to support this folk remedy.
"Young men with a short refractory period may often experience a second and more controlled ejaculation during an episode of lovemaking," says Chris G. McMahon, MD, in a 2004 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Masturbation may also help men learn to control their level of arousal, which is essential for delaying orgasm.
Other Ways to Treat Premature Ejaculation
One time-honored technique for premature ejaculation is to distract yourself -- to think about something boring or even disgusting to delay your orgasm. While this may work for some, it has the unfortunate side effect of distancing men from their partners and the sexual experience.
There's also an obvious alternative: pull out and stop having sex for a few minutes to postpone orgasm. Sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson elaborated on this when they developed the "squeeze-pause" technique, also known as the "penis grip," to quell the desire to climax. As the name implies, this involves squeezing the head of the penis as orgasm approaches.