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When the Thrill Is Gone
Generally speaking, magazine articles about how to improve your sex life -- especially in marriage or a long-term relationship -- contain the same advice: candles, hot baths and soft music are often invoked.
That may be because these “better sex” stories are a staple of women’s magazines. I don’t know about you, but candles always make me think of church, baths are something my mother made me take, and soft music reminds me of going to the dentist. Definite turn-offs all.
But how do you regain the passion in your relationship when you feel it's slipping away? Is it possible? Or when that train has left the station, is it too late to bring it back?
“A lot of people get to that point and have to decide what to do about it,” says Louanne Cole Weston, PhD, a marriage and family therapist and board-certified sex therapist in Fair Oaks, California. “Novelty is sexually interesting to most people -- not always to the point that they will act on it, but the idea has a little bit of a thrill to it, for men or women.”
Does Novelty or Predictability Make a Sex Life Better?
In dealing with people who have been married or together for a while, she has found that familiarity breeds -- if not contempt -- then at least too much familiarity. “Sometimes with a long-term partner, a person feels like they know every freckle on that other person’s body,” she says. The solution may lie in exploring the unfamiliar -- though not necessarily.
“For some people, predictability is very exciting,” cautions Weston. “You have to figure out if you’re a ‘surprise’ or ‘predictability’ person. If you’re a surprise person, asking your partner to surprise you is a good first step. If you’re a predictability person, and there is something predictably bad or neutral about your sexual experience, getting some changes in there can be a positive thing.”
Too Much Togetherness Can Kill Passion in Marriage
Those same darn women’s magazines often offer intimacy as the tonic to save the foundering sex life. You’ve drifted apart, the logic goes. Take interest in his life, his work, his recreation -- even if it’s watching retired athletes yelling at each other on cable. But there is a fine line between being cared for and being crowded -- and the latter is definitely a buzz kill.
“Sometimes too much closeness stifles desire,” says Esther Perel, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Manhattan and author of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic. “Separateness is a precondition for connection. When intimacy collapses into fusion, it is not a lack of closeness but too much closeness that impedes desire," she tells WebMD.
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Indication
Uroxatral® (alfuzosin HCl 10 mg extended-release tablets) is an alpha1-blocker for the treatment of the signs and symptoms of BPH.
Important Safety Information
Do not take UROXATRAL if you have liver problems or if you are taking antifungal drugs like ketoconazole or itraconazole, or HIV drugs like ritonavir.
UROXATRAL can cause a sudden drop in blood pressure, especially when starting treatment. This may lead to fainting, dizziness, and lightheadedness. Do not drive, operate machinery, or do any dangerous activity until you know how UROXATRAL will affect you. This is especially important if you already have a problem with low blood pressure or take medicines to treat high blood pressure. There may be an increased risk of low blood pressure and fainting when taking UROXATRAL in combination with blood pressure medication or nitrates, or erectile dysfunction medication.
If considering cataract surgery (clouding of the eyes), tell your eye surgeon that you are currently taking UROXATRAL or have previously been treated with an alpha-blocker.
Before taking UROXATRAL, tell your doctor if you have kidney problems.
Also, tell your doctor if you or any family member(s) have or take medications for a rare heart condition known as congenital prolongation of the QT interval.
BPH and prostate cancer can cause the same symptoms. However, UROXATRAL is not a treatment for prostate cancer.
The most common side effects with UROXATRAL are dizziness, upper respiratory tract infection, headache, and tiredness.
Please see UROXATRAL full prescribing information.
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