There is no "right" amount of sex. Sure that other guys are having more sex than you? Join the club: That's likely what they think about you.

The mistake here is comparing your sex life with some ideal. Forget anybody else. All that matters is what you and your partner want.

Ah, the old lights on/lights off debate. Many guys want the lights on during sex to be able to see what they're doing, so to speak. But making a big deal about it could be a mistake.

Having the lights off helps some women focus on pleasure and relaxing. That could be worth flipping the lights off.

What's the most common reason? They don't want to hurt their guy's feelings.

Many men -- often well-meaning ones -- put way too much pressure on their partners to have an orgasm. That's a turn-off.

Try to relax. If your partner feels at ease with you, she won't feel a need to fake it, and you'll learn what really turns her on.

Most guys know that foreplay is key. Yet they may not do it long enough.

Think of foreplay as something that goes on for hours, or even days, before you have sex. It can include all sorts of acts that help your partner relax and feel close to you.

Think beyond sexy massages. Doing your share of the chores could heat her heart.

OK, yes, some women really don't like porn. But guys often think of "What Women Like" as if all women were the same.

When it comes to your relationship, what matters is what your partner likes. If you want to try to explore erotica together, ask her. See what happens and take your cues from her.

It's pretty simple: Most women need contact with the clitoris. For many women, intercourse alone doesn't do that job very well. Part of the challenge is how they're built. Studies show that the closer a woman's clitoris is to her vagina, the easier it is to climax during sex.

If your partner doesn't, she may need to be touched in other ways as well.

Like watching TV in bed? Then get used to having less sex. One Italian study found that couples with a TV in the bedroom had half as much sex as couples who didn't. Set up your bedroom for sleep and sex. Leave the rest of your life outside the door.

Every woman is different. What turns on one woman might not excite another one at all. Some of the areas that arouse women most are the nipples, neck, ears, inner thighs, and clitoris.

The best way to find the areas that excite her are to try different kinds of touching during foreplay and sex to see what she responds to. It's also a good idea to ask her!

If your partner uses sex toys -- and is in touch with her sexuality -- that can be good for your sex life. If you're both open to it, you might ask if you can use these toys together. Many sex toys are made for couples. Trying some could be fun.

Thank the cuddle hormone, oxytocin. Studies show that hugging a woman for 20 seconds releases it, making her feel good and building her bond with you.

Some guys still believe that sex is different from other physical closeness. It isn't. They go together.

Get in the habit of hugging, kissing, and cuddling daily. Your sex life is bound to improve.

Don't worry  about trying to time your orgasms to overlap. Instead, take turns. Focus on her first, and then vice versa. You'll both wind up happy. 

At least, that's true for most people. Spur-of-the-moment sex can be great, no question.

But if you aren't having sex as often as you like, don't wait for it to "just happen." Plan a weekly sex date with your partner. You may find that planning a time for sex will help build desire for both of you.